Discernment Counseling in Hawaii | Decide Whether to Repair or Separate | Akua Family Therapy

Discernment counseling helps couples gain clarity when one partner is unsure about continuing the relationship. Short-term, structured counseling available in Hawaii.

Discernment Counseling: When You’re Unsure Whether to Stay or Separate

A short-term process designed for couples at a relationship crossroads.

Not every couple seeking help is ready for couples therapy.

Sometimes one partner wants to work on the relationship while the other feels uncertain — or is considering separation. Discernment counseling helps couples slow down and gain clarity before making major decisions.

The goal is understanding and direction, not pressure to stay or leave.

What Is Discernment Counseling?

Discernment counseling is a structured, short-term process (typically 1–5 sessions) that helps couples decide among three possible paths:

1. Maintain the relationship as it is for now (status quo)
   
   

2. Move toward separation or divorce with clarity and respect
   
   

3. Commit to a six-month period of couples therapy with divorce taken off the table while both partners actively work on change
   
   

How It Differs from Couples Therapy

Traditional couples therapy assumes both partners want to repair the relationship.

Discernment counseling is designed specifically when partners are in different places emotionally:

• One partner may be “leaning in”
  
  

• The other may be “leaning out”
  
  

• Both may feel stuck or exhausted
  
  

Sessions include time together as a couple as well as individual conversations with each partner.

The focus is clarity — not persuasion.

A Process Without Pressure

Many couples worry therapy will push them toward a decision they are not ready to make. Discernment counseling works differently.

Each partner’s experience is respected equally. The process helps couples slow down, understand what has happened in the relationship, and make thoughtful decisions rather than reactive ones.

Some couples choose to rebuild.
Some choose separation.
Others decide they need more time.

All outcomes are approached with care and neutrality.

Confidential Individual Conversations

A key part of discernment counseling is private one-on-one conversations with each partner.

These conversations are confidential and are not shared with the other partner.

To protect this privacy, Akua Family Therapy uses separate individual client portals and clinical records for each partner. This ensures a safe space for honest reflection and emotional processing.

Scheduling may be coordinated together, but communication and documentation remain confidential.

What to Expect

Sessions typically include:

• Joint conversations as a couple
  
  

• Individual meetings with each partner
  
  

• Exploration of relationship history and patterns
  
  

• Clarifying hopes, concerns, and readiness for change
  
  

The focus is understanding — not blame.

If the Status Quo Is Chosen

If couples decide not to pursue couples therapy or separation at this time, individual therapy is often recommended as the next step.

Each partner may be referred to separate individual therapists to support personal growth, emotional processing, and continued clarity while maintaining therapeutic neutrality.

If Separation Is Chosen

When children are involved, co-parenting therapy is strongly recommended to help families transition in a healthy and child-focused way.

Co-parenting therapy supports:

• Reduced conflict exposure for children
  
  

• Healthy communication between parents
  
  

• Stable parenting structures during transition
  
  

Fees

Discernment Counseling
$115 per session (individual and joint sessions)

Co-Parenting Therapy (if separation occurs)

• $115 individual co-parent session
  
  

• $160 dual co-parenting session
  
  

Discernment counseling is a short-term decision-making process. If couples choose a six-month commitment to repair the relationship, transition into structured couples therapy will be discussed.

Is Discernment Counseling Right for You?

This service may be helpful if:

✔ One partner is unsure about continuing the relationship
✔ Conversations quickly become conflict or shutdown
✔ You feel stuck between trying harder and giving up
✔ You want clarity before making a major decision

Take the First Step Toward Clarity

You do not have to navigate this decision alone.

Discernment counseling provides a calm, structured space to understand your relationship and move forward with confidence — whatever direction you ultimately choose.

Request a Discernment Counseling Consultation
Call or Text 808-646-3150
or complete the Contact Form and request Discernment Counseling.